If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
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