Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
