You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
Ladies, if you have recieved this text then you are one of the lucky few friends I have decided to make this proposal to. As you all know, my boyfriend's birthday is in two weeks and I have finally decided on the perfect present. Surprise threesome. Now, there can only be one, this isn't an orgy you know, so I will be rating the ideal candidates on bra size and sluttyness. Experiance will count, references if available. Inbox me your credentials so we can come to a...Satisfying agreement.
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
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