Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
