how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
Randomize
