just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Randomize
