what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
He had one of those small greek statue penises
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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