We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
Let the clothes fall where they may.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize
