Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
