That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
Randomize
