there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
Randomize
