you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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