Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
YAS. BRING CRAB.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
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