yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
Randomize
