I wanna bring you to show and tell
the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
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