dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
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