So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
Randomize
