just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Randomize
