I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
Randomize
