his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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