thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Randomize
