Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
Randomize
