Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
Randomize
