I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
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