I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
