I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Randomize
