We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
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