Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
