u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize
