You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
Randomize