After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
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