love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize
