The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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