i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
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