dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
Randomize
