Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
