Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(917): View more from New York City

I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out

(1-917): View more from New York City

We've been saying that since '98

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(251): View more from Alabama

Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree

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(305): View more from Florida

He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.

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(641): View more from Iowa

Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?

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(773): View more from Illinois

Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.

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(902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"

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(610): View more from Pennsylvania

Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry

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(740): View more from Ohio

I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.

(1-740): View more from Ohio

I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..

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(315): View more from New York

You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.

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