I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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