Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize