"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize
