You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
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