And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
Randomize
