I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Randomize
