You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
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