Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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