new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
The cops high fived after they tackled you
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
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