This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Randomize