Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Randomize