I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
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