South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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