So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
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