covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
Randomize
