i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
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