I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
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