Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
Randomize
