I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Randomize
