and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize
