Nicole vs. Life
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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