I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
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