Plan B is the new Plan A
I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
Randomize
