how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
that's an acceptable place to lick
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
Randomize
