this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize
